It was last night when I made this meme for my two friends. My day is always brighter with them. No matter we have toughest confusion together and even when I get irritated, they are quietly opened when I needed them. Although I can’t read their mind and even if i can feel their hearts, it is certainly far-off to comprehend them as I am not they. I am uncertain if I hurt them sometimes when I did a mistake since I can’t feel it. But so far, I never seen them offended by myself. Gratefully, I have this friends who never get tired to welcome me back and whatever mistake I did, it is nothing for them only they know completely is I need them and I can’t deny that fact.
When Marhana asked me what her rule in my life was, for almost 4 years that we have known each other since 1st year college, I just smiled at her and answered that she was my trashcan. Because of this, it gently fallen her tears. She never expected that after all those years that passed by, she was just my trashcan. Arman tried to comfort her that down night. But then I followed up explanation from my hearts that I was so blessed she really was. When I treated her trashcan, it only means that I can only reveal my secrets to her that i can’t do to somebody else. Indeed, all my failures she have always carried it like no one of my friends will do. She used to be my partner in crime and I am always comfortable with her. She has supported me a lot for my dreams along the way.
If Marhana is my supporter, Arman is my Adviser. If Marhana can clean up my misses, Arman wanted it to clean up by my own. he just wanted me to realize that I Should have known to be stronger without friends like how I become more independent from my family in Sulu when it comes of growing up. He is so strict to my character. Sometimes, we always fight and ignore each other just because he wanted me to be more matured enough but at the end of the day, we are still friends. He just don’t like me to be judged by somebody, he just don’t like to hear from other people that they are bullying me because of it. He needed me to change such, bring to an end being introverted, dramatic, emotional, immature and sensitive. He wanted me to just go with the flow and fight for life but It is surely hard for me to understand this way maybe because he shown me different from what other people gives advices, I mean his reaction doesn’t fit to what he said but I know he meant it, it is from his heart.
With them, I can’t stop laughing. We are so acting childish, singing over the phone, creating our own language, jokes, lying, dreaming and talking nonsense. That’s how mostly we made our moments. But seriously, maybe when we graduate in college we would rarely see each other, link each other and laugh together. Oh! I’m gonna miss my friends.
Unfortunately, for now me and Arman isn’t yet ok. This is actually the first time that we seems we are holding our own pride not to talk each other. Marhana is trying to take us back before but I just don’t know. Maybe, Pride don’t give sense to both people who have misunderstanding but it is sometimes the best way to be more educated enough understanding that life is needed to give up someone you love when it is for his or her own happiness. I respect our decision. Maybe my friend is happy for that.
If I have to thank them both, maybe I can’t. My thanks is rare physical, typically it’s only inside of me. Nobody can see it and hear it but if they love me as well maybe they can simply feel it.